Something interesting happens to me during the holidays. A whole box of chocolates in one sitting ("Why not!"), four servings of dinner ("If you insist!"), multiple hot cocoas laced with Christmas Cheer ("Oh okay, just top me up...") and finding myself parked beside the chips and dip scarfing them down ("Just one more, last one"). I usually have some self-control. At least in front of others. But it seems that from December 23 to 26 it's hair straight back. My friend Jacqueline says the same thing each year, that come January 1st she is on Sugar Detox. I usually don't do the whole Resolution thing, but Sugar Detox might be in my back pocket. If it's not too tight back there.
Back in October I came across a blog post on Pinterest that caught my attention. "The 72 Hour Club: Could a Good Sex Life Change Your Marriage?". So, basically the author was starting a "club" for women with the goal of engaging in sex or other physical intimacy with your partner at least once every 72 hours. Apparently men have a need for release every 72 hours or they will attempt sexual sin or something like that. Sexual gratification will secure your man and make your marriage stronger. It's a Christian blog. Now, as a disclaimer, George and I have a wonderful marriage. You know, filled with the same shit as everyone else, but definitely happy and full of love. So I wasn't actually that interested in this club as a relationship strengthening exercise. What was the reason? Am I going to blame my need on attempting such a lofty goal on hormones? Competitiveness? Since baby Walt was born, I haven't been as game to do the deed. I am blaming that part on hormones. And Other Women are engaging in sex this often? Pft, well so can I. It could have just been the fact that I found it on Pinterest. It has a weird hold over me. Okay, I did feel as though it was a good idea -- yes, make your marriage, your intimacy with your partner a priority. I wanted to see where it would go. I really, truly gave it a shot.
(It's a good thing I didn't tell George about this 72 hour thing. Do you know how many days 72 hours is? Three. Three days. I'm lucky if I can grab a shower in that time period. I have a three month old. Frankly, sometimes I'm slipping off yesterday's pjs for a fresh pair at 9pm.)
But maybe this isn't a lofty goal to some? Maybe you are thinking, only once every three days? But does frequency really matter? So, if we usually get busy at least once or twice a week, does that mean our marriage will suffer or not be as strong as those who are doing it three, four times in that same week? And I have always felt as though it is a competition between women. Like, we have to fake the fact that we don't have sex seven nights a week. Maybe not even seven times a month. Also, let's give our men a little credit here. If they don't blow their load in 72 hours they are more likely to commit "sexual sin". I don't even know what that means. I hope my man can control himself during a long weekend away from the sack.
So what about you? Does this idea interest you at all?
Needless to say, I've been kicked out of the club.
HA. Oh hell yes. Come sit by me. We'll be a non-club. Would you like a cup of tea while we're here not having sex with our sinful husbands? Yeesh.
ReplyDeleteCheers to that!
DeleteP.S. - Thanks for the comments Bibliomama!
I'm late! However, I read that article and sat on it for awhile. Lent season starts today and I am not/am joining the 72 hour club for lent. Makes since to me. I want to reflect on making my marriage stronger. Not that it is weak. We have a great relationship. However, 2 kids, opposite work schedules and life gets in the way. So, please make room on the bench for me.
ReplyDeleteI've been struggling to figure out how I am responding to the idea of the 72 hour club. I joked about it with my husband, we yell, "72 hours!" at each other, and pretty much don't stick to the time frame. However, we have made sex a bigger priority in our lives, but we sure as H.E. double hockeysticks have NOT done it in order to keep him from "committing sexual sin." The idea that you need to have sex with your husband a certain amount to keep him faithful is, well, troubling. I've recently started identifying as Christian again, and it is disturbing how patriachally minded mainstream Christianity can be about sex and marriage. Men deserve more credit/responsibility when it comes to cheating, and women deserve to have their sexual needs recognized too.
ReplyDeleteSo, can putting sex higher on your priority list be helpful? Absolutely. Should you do it to keep your husband from cheating? GAH! That should not even be a thing.